Week 7 Recap
Just when you are ready to pack it in and trade your team looking forward to next year, please don't forget, the Sacko Bowl is a real thing and you really don't want any of it. A friendly reminder from a previous recap:
Don't forget, there are few minor added stipulations. The champ has immunity from being a beer bitch and buying beer. The Sacko loser has reverse immunity meaning they have to buy beer with the losing team and they are a beer bitch even if their team wins (on top of having to get all the name plates this year) so the moral of the story is, DO NOT LOSE THE SACKO BOWL!!! At least you get to bring home a sweeeeet 7 ft tall trophy, just ask Vicky and little Tea- Bag!
High Score:
Reverse Cow Girls
156.2 pts
Sacko Civil War:
Skipler- 4,452.3 pts
Sacko- 4,461.5 pts
Fireman Ed Photoshops!!!
I am going to keep this one short this week because there is a special treat for everyone at the end. Old man Dickhead took initiative when I brought up the old man rant corner. Even I haven't read it yet. I told him I would wait until the end so that I did not use the recap as means of immediate revenge.
I'm a regular fuckin sweetheart.
6.)#3 Reverse Cow Girls (5-2) 156.2 pts
#12 Just Chill (1-6) 114.6 pts
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
LOL @ Larry, he's worse than Ed!
Wah wah wahhh. I'm so good in every fantasy league but I'm 1 and 5 and in last place in your league Sope. Talk of other leagues is blasphemy. You're either Sack- In or your Sack- Out.
Ed did do something right this season, his 1st round Sacko Draft choice Taco took home another High Score!
This one was just inappropriate. I bet JE didn't even get AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT.
5.) #8 Beats By Ray (3-4) 113.3 pts
#9 Skipler (3-4) 94.4 pts
JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!
Any W vs Skipler is a good W in my book. Tommy's team has been on fire lately, as if they are a barn that just will not stop burning. They are doing so good and need to slow it down right now, so you know what that means. . . Time to talk good about them!
Devonta Freeman, the #1 pickup of the year, how could he ever slow down? You don't have to look far to find the 2nd best pickup of the season, Dion Lewis, look at him go contributing 20 pts so far in the 3rd quarter directly to Tommy's bench. BBR is on fire and proving the haters wrong!!!
4.) #6 The Butt Fumblers (3-4) 90.6 pts
#7 Run n Hyde (4-3) 79.3 pts
JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!
Weeks is just wishing this season ended a couple weeks ago. I picture that every time he looks at his phone/ Ipad/ neighborhood library desktop computer to see how his team is doing he just shakes his head "oh goddammit" over and over again.
Weeks is this year's "Waiver Wire Wonder":
3.) #1 Polk High Panthers (5-2) 116.7 pts
#9 Dickhead (2-5) 104.0 pts
JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!
Whelp, someone finally fell for Dickhead's Ponzi / Pyramid scheme trade. Raise your hand if you knew it would be Ed (all hands raise). Good thing your Daddy, the commissioner, was there to bail you out, now come suck on bitty!
There is a revolving door at #1. That Fern, he needs to slow down as well. Trying to stop his freight train of a team is like trying to tackle Gronk but his Gronk junk alone:
Here is a "Blackniss" Celebration to honor another loss for EJ:
2.) #4 Gwatty (5-2) 97.3 pts
#11 Ed Fartassian (1-6) 92.7 pts
JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!
Gwatts with yet another sub- 100 point victory, how do these R- Tards do it? Best move of Gwatty's whole season? Keeping Edelman for a 5th round pick.
Meanwhile, Ed seems to be on a collision course to meet Larry in the Sacko Bowl for the 2nd year in a row.
This ball = Dez Bryant and I am the Eagle's player:
The next question I have, is what prospects do you want for Amari Cooper?
I am going to start a weekly "Julian Edelman Rag Doll" section because every week I can probably find a GIF where Julian Edleman, well, you know. . .
1.) #2 Victorious Secret (5-3) 105.7 pts
#5 Sope Pro (4-3) 101.9 pts
JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!
You had to know that was coming! It's the 1 year anniversary since Ed met Balls!
I will be humble for a second, I do deserve the R- Tard of the year award handed down from Paul- Wall, to Joe Stank, to Byron Sope. I thought it would look so super cool if I beat Holly while preserving my studly # 1 ranked kicker. Holly, you're fucking welcome.
Ok, no more wasting time. This better be good . . .
Old Man Rant Corner
Ed Dumbassian
How can you keep the #1 player on your bench thru the 1st 7 weeks while he heals only to trade him on the eve of his return for 2 middling shit players that only the so called Commish deemed as a great trade. Ed Douchebaggians is far worse than an alleged “Tacogate”, we all got offered those two nothing mid-season second hand waiver wire pickups for our best players but apparently shit does roll up hill as Ed Areyoueventryingians pulled the trigger on what has to be the stupidest move ever in Sacko history…..next to actually picking Dez with the number one pick….or trading Charles the number one pick last year …..and guess who received that number one pick?. I’m calling Shennagians.
It just goes to show that Ed Likestheballsagain
How the commissioner proposes trades
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