SACKO BOWL YEAR 14 (I Think?)

Week 5 Recap!!!!!

(currently voted 5 out of 5 stars on YELP!)

Sacko Civil War Update:

Team Skipler: 2,484.3 pts

Team Sacko: 2,574.4 pts

High Scorers week 4 + 5

Week 4: Butt Fumblers- 133.9 pts

Week 5: Polk High Panthers- 142.3 pts

After an early bye week last recap and the (fake) passing of first ballot binge drinking world champion(notice, no asterisks there, I'm looking at you Skipler!) Full Bill. I hereby announce that this week be known as:

The Buffalo Full Bills Week

For each recap I will add a short video of a Full Bill moment outside of Ralph Wilson Stadium during a tailgate. Mind you, these are videos from home games so far AS IN this season AS IN only 3 games so far. Full Bill would be proud rest his soul.

Here is an example:

Right now 1/2 the league is 3-2. The top 2 teams at 4-1 have lower scores than 5 out of 6 3-2 teams. The bottom 1/4 of the league is currently two games away from being in the top 8!

6.) #11 Just Chill (1-4) 77.6pts Juggles Chodes against

#4 Polk High Panthers (3-2) 142.3 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

This one was very boring so I am going to fill the void with the sickest trick play from the past 2 weeks from the Jared Fogle Fantasy Football league. Also, I really, really want to stop typing so that I can watch the goddamn Mets game. Do yourself a favor and stop watching at 30 secs, you'll get the point.

My name is Rian, I ride me bicycleta to skewl!!! Ok, so we don't have a sweet Odell catch, but . . . I can't show you the white guy equivalent to OBJYN's signature catch:

Well, at least Larry has this going for him:

Oops!!! Wrong clip. It turns out Larry has absolutely nothing going for him. My bad bro.

5.)#6 The Butt Fumblers (3-2) 76.9 pts gets shit served from

#2 Gwatty (4-1) 115.7 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

What's up Watts, Gary's Ass gotchya tongue?

The Gwatty luck streak continues OUT OF NOWHERE!!

4.) #9 Skiplers Saggy Eds (1-4) 101.4 pts <

#3 Victorious Secret (3-2) 116.9 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

(so close)

Remember the last recap where I started talking bad about Holly's players as a science experiment to see if they would perform better the way Fern's and Wirty's did after the week 1 and 2 recap? Well she is 2-0 since then. Who needs the extra boost next? You give me the five stars on YELP and I am sure we can work something out.

That Holly, she is Stunning and Brave (please, no one blow up my spot here).

3.) #8 Reverse Cow Girls (3-2) 85.7 pts sips the shit of

#1 Run and Hyde (4-1) 97.3 pts

JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!

I've heard whispers of some teams looking to participate in Shennanigans. As your ethical and rule- abiding commissioner, I must, at the very least, make a statement on said potential Shenanigans:

"What the fuck are you waiting for?"

Don't look now, but Mike Weeks is #1

2.) #9 Beats By Ray (1-4) 126.2 pts Chugs Chode against

#5 Sope Pro (3-2) 136.4 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

Watch John Brown get a flag for being too fly. Those refs must be Republicans.

Tommy's nightmare season continues. He has already had:

1- a Win overturned on Thursday stat changes

2- lost to a girl

3- a hard luck loss to the lucky gwatts (74 pts to 77.4 pts) where Devonta Freeman had over 50% of the total team points, losing on the Calvin Johnson fumble on MNF.

4- put up 126 points and lost in a game where this was not considered a Touchdown!!???

GOD- DAMMIT

1.) #12 Dick Head (1-4) 90.7 pts takes a trip to the museum of fine farts against #6 Skipler (3-2) 91.5 pts

JR Says: 3 Barn Burners!

Dickhead's season so far in 1 photo:

(photo courtesy of johnnyesgingerbeastialityfarmhouse.org)

This was a rematch of last year's **Superbowl. Then you knew what happened next with the defending **Champion. Although it was a close one, the over dog gets the expected W here.