Sacko Bowl 4: The Silver Ball Bag of Truth

 

 

Week 11 Recap

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SACKO CIVIL WAR UPDATE

 

 

Amazingly Randys (Youngs)

 

6,671.06 PTS

 

 

vs

 

OLD FUDDY DUDDYS

 

 

7,069.44 PTS

 

6.)

#9 Fartassian (3-8) 67.42 pts

Polymorphs

#11 Twatty (3-8) 55.40 pts

 

JR Says:

 



 

 

67 to 55? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? This was like watching a girl's volleyball game. I cannot waste too much time on this part of the recap because we have some Hardcore Dude Shit to get to. This matchup wasn't a joke. . .

Jokes are hard and require skill.

 

Fun Fact: Jonas Gray scored 44 pts by himself for Twatty's bench.

Twatty, I Know this might be hard for you to grasp right now, but this is actually real, not a computer program. You are currently looking at a Sacko Bye, bro.

 

 

That makes Michael Watts our:

SACKO DOUSCHE OF THE WEEK:

 

 

 

 

Fartassian Outlook: The +1000 pts makes the #9 seed look pretty at only 3 wins on the season so far. Not in the clear yet for a Sacko Bye, but will need more than 67.42 pts to beat #1 Sope Pro this week.

 

Twatty Outlook: Set your lineup R-Tard. I was actually, in real life, asked on Monday if there was a good kicker to pick up for MNF. Uggh, free agency locks on 1pm Sunday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.)

#4 Skipler (7-4) 132.96 pts

Sets the lineup of

#2 The Reverse Cowgirls (9-2) 90.24 pts

 

 

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

 

Oh how the mighty Taco has fallen. It could come down to a points race vs Sope Pro for King of the Castle. Every roster tweak counts.

 

Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!  Hide yo bros!  Cause Skiplers trade raping errrybody out thurr!

 

Meanwhile, Skipler is currently cornering the market on defenses.  Even more shenanigans are on the horizon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skipler/RCG Joint Outlook (Really they are the same person anyway): Skipler has a 4 game winning streak to match the 80+ points over the next best team. However, they will need 2 Taco/Sope Pro losses and 1 Wirty loss along with 2 wins to get a first round bye. I should not have said that, because I am sure those shenanigans can be arranged. We all know JE will lose this week to make sure Dickhead will stay safe and sound at #6.

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.)

#6 Dickhead (6-5) 97.70 pts

**TSSSSHHHH (Burning sound effect)

#7 Beats by Ray (5-6) 77.52 pts

 

 

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

 

 

This was the battle of 3-game losing streaks and for the 6th playoff spot.

 

BBR has been getting bitch slapped lately by the old bitches.

 

 

At least EJ got 1 solid player along with an injured backup RB via Skipler's trade rape. Its not like you didn't give up the best TE in the game or anything.

 

 

Beats by Ray Outlook: BBR needs to gain ground on #6 Dickhead and at least tie records because Dickhead has 33 less points. This week BBR plays the revamped Larry Villains and if I was TD I would talk collusion with Larry because . . .

 

Dickhead Outlook: DH plays the Reverse Cowgirls this week. You know the league's #2 seed will be starting their "B" Team so that all 4 butt buddies will make the real playoffs.

 

 

 

 

 

3.)

#3 The Butt Fumblers (8-3) 141.18 pts

Dark Clouds

#12 The Negro Sailfish (2-9) 110.78 pts

 

The Fuck Mike Weeks tour continues after another solid showing, and another solid Loss. This week, MW gets fucked all the way to last place.  It is just one devastating loss after another:

                              

 

 

 

Wirty, you had your chance to embrace your inner dark cloud and follow your gut feeling by adding and starting the Sanchize.  I hope that every Philly fan that thought they found their future QB replacement for Nick Foles feels as dumb as every Jets fan did watching the Butt Fumble happen.

 

 

 

The Butt Fumblers have been going tit for that with Sope Pro after having their tits rattled by Sope Pro a couple of weeks ago.  Ouch that one still hurts!

 

 

Butt Fumblers Outlook: The Good news = 1 game differential and 3 pts differential out of a 1st round bye.  The bad news = has to play against an angry Skipler team that has Shenanigans on their side.

 

Negro Sailfish Outlook: A sad, sad story here.  Has more points than all 3- win teams but only has 2 wins.  A Sackoing Weeks will go.  Getting out of the Sacko First Round Bye trap is not an impossibility by any stretch of the imagination.  This week NS has a very winnable matchup (Understatement of the year) against Twatty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.)

#10 Larry Villains (3-8) 81.38 pts

Hairy Babies

#8 Victorious Secret (4-7) 67.22 pts

 

JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!

 

 

 

 

That 67 point showing was the nail in the coffin that is VS's season.

 

Larry Villains took last week's "Outlook" very personally.  He only reads his segment and there is not too much to say this week so I have to make sure he at least gets some of his money's worth:

 

 

 

 

VS Outlook: It's been real.  At least try and finish in 7th or 8th place so that you do not completely embarrass yourself with a Sacko Bowl run in your first career appearance in it.

 

LV: Clawing their way from the depths of Sacko infamy, LV is currently avoiding a 1st round bye in the Sacko Bowl.  LV only has to hold off hard- luck Weeks and sleeping Watts to avoid a bottom- 2 finish.

 

 

1.) 

#1 Sope Pro (9-2) 106.82 pts

Blood Eagles

#5 Polk High Panthers (7-4) 97.28 pts

 

 

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

 

 

 



 

                 

 

 

 

I am going to keep this one simple for all the minimalists out there:

 

 

RIP Emmanuel Sanders:

 



 

 

ZOIDBERG TD CELEBRATION!:

 

 

 

 

Sope Pro Outlook: Only #1 thanks to a 14 point differential over Taco Enoksen.  This week Sope Pro defends the castle against the winner of last week's 67 pts- 55 pts Snowy Log Cabin, so there's that.

 

PHP Outlook: Plays the newish Larry Villains this week.  Still in the thick of things at 7 wins.  A win this week and the real playoffs will be just about locked up.  A loss, and that is when things will get exciting.  As in a bad way exciting.