SACKO BOWL YEAR 14 (I Think?): week 4 recap: the skip supremacy

week 4 recap: the skip supremacy

Starting this week off with the reader input segment. Last week if you did not read the question was Kill, Marry, Fuck

Vick - dog murders

RG3 w/ good knee

Cam Newton, douschey as ever

Reader Josh doesn't quite follow the rules but sends in:

Mary cam he will have the most $ vick I would duck with condoms causes he got valtrax but like the gotee

N kill rg3 got a bad leg like a horse take him out back n blow his brain's

Contributor Skip submits the following:

Kill- RG III- Send a message that an offensive name name like "Redskins" cannot be tolerated

Marry- Michael Vick- He has made the most money from the NFL and clearly has other interests to carry him through his post playing days

Fuck- Cam Newtown- He seems like the least "N-word ish" and would probably let me be the top

Almost Racist Ed writes (after I told him to clean it up):

Fine say kill them all because they are people who annoy me . . .they are naggers.

Sexual Deviant Tolsdorf does not quite get the concept but adds:

GET FUCKED BY RG3, GET FUCKED BY CAM, GET FUCKED BY VICK. . . AT THE SAME TIME. . .THINK I CAN'T FIT IT!? COME AT ME BRO!

Guess who sent the following. On a side note it took him about 30 seconds to answer:

Kill thyroid. Fuck anything and never get married.

Now on to the real main event of this week's recap. Don't think that I forgot about you Wirty. Keeping up with last week's promise you just won yourself a

BRAND

NEW

TEAM

PIC!!!!!!

Enjoy!!

(Special thanks to Holly)

6.)

#4 Sope Pro (3-1) 87.62 pts loses to #2 Victorious Secret (3-1) 126.98 pts

JR says: 0 Barn Burners

Well that was an emalsculating one. Sope Pro loses their first game while VS ends up back on track. Definitely derped that one up good. Here is a pic of what it would have looked like if it were a real team:

(Please note, I chose this picture because of the colors (I love me some Merica). Also because I only draft the blackest of QBs. Peyton Manning? Nah ahh. Drew Brees? More like Jew Brees. Matt Ryan? Not on my team whitey. Why have your QB stand back there looking like a big ol penis aka Joe Flacco when they can play option and do cool things like run for an 80 yard touchdown?)

5.) #10 Negro Sailfish 87.58 pts (1-3) loses to #1 Cleveland Steamers 142.34 (4-0)

JR says: 0 Barn Burners

Well I know I'm not along when I say goddammit Cleveland Steamers. Goddammit. The highest scoring and only undefeated team serves the Negro Sailfish and says:

"Keep the change . . . you filthy animal!"

(Now Ed that is a quote from a movie that is popular from our child hood and not racial even though the team being called a filthy animal coincidentally is known as the Negro Sailfish)

4.) #12 The Butt Fumblers 67.84 pts (0-4) loses to #8 Stage Kisses R Gay 94.88 pts (2-2)

JR says: 0 Barn Burners

The Baltimore running game fell flat for Stage Kisses but they did not need Ray Lewis's Sideline Jesus Power to win this one. This season is becoming a long one for the Butt Fumblers, luckily they only need to win 1 game on Week 15 or 16 to save themselves from a Sacko Dynasty. If only Mike Wallace could just . . .

. . . Oh wait, he couldn't. Well, on a side note The Butt Fumblers has a wide array of team pics to choose from tonight:

3.) #11 Coming to You Live 133.52 pts loses to #3 The Bitches 150.88 pts

JR says: 1 Barn Burner

Well the Coming to you Lives are getting just plain unlucky. Good thing this year there is an A for Effort Cash Prize! Now that you are all excited, don't be, because I just made that up and it is totally not true. It took 30 weeks of Regular Season Sackoing, but The Bitches finally did it and took home a High Score. I'm sure well be hearing it for another 30 weeks until they get their #2. Speaking of #2, I wanted to provide a real life visual of this match up:

2.) #9 Twatty 116.40 pts (1-3) loses to #7 Cruzin All the Way 132.18 pts (2-2)

JR says: 1 Barn Burner

It is about time all of those Peyton Manning mega loads he drops on every NFL team he plays start to turn into wins. Team Twatty neeeedddsss to make a trade if they want to escape two shitty seasons in a row. This one got a BB because it was pretty high scoring and would have been even closer if they benched Peyton when the game was truly out of hand.

CHEST BUMP BRO

MAIN EVENT OF THE WEEK!!!

1.)

#5 LRY VLNS 121.74 pts (3-1) loses to

#6 The Reverse Cow Girls 128.96 pts (2-2)

JR Says: 3 Barn Burners!

Somebody had to get 3 Barn Burners again amiright!? Jimmy Graham was burning barns but not quite enough. Somehow the Reverse Cow Girls are not even over 500 but are dropping points like crazy week by week yaknowwhatImean!? And to think LRY VLNS had a lot of focus going this week. He spent hours locked away in the bathroom setting his lineups. What a griefer.