Week 7 Recap
"Midseason Records, Kind of"
In addition to a recap, this week we are going to take a look at some notable highs and lows of various stats from the first 7 weeks of the season.
- Cleveland Steamers and Dick Head are tied for the most wins this season so far with 6. However it is Dick Head and The Reverse Cow Girls that are tied with the longest/ longest active win streak this season at 5 wins in a row. The longest streak ever is held by Brytard (LRY VLNS)with 9 in 2011.
- The Butt Fumblers have already rewritten the Sacko History Books. In 7 weeks they are 0-7 and have already taken home the all- time record for longest losing streak at 7 straight. Times are tough for the reigning Sacko Winner.
- This season's largest margin of victory happened in week 7:
The Negro Sailfish beat Coming to you live by 69.78 pts. 5 points away from the all time record:
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Negro Sailfish is averaging the largest average margin of victoy so far at 37.35 pts a week. Not far behing The rcord held last year by Joe Mamas (Cleveland Steamers) at 41.21 a week.
- Last week when JR flipped out and said Cruzin vs LRY was a barnburner for the ages he was not exaggerating. The closest game so far this season and of all time was on Week 6 when Cruzin all the Way lost to LRY VLNS by 0.08 pts. Naturally, Cruzin has the lowest average margin of defeat so far. Losing each game by an average of 4.40 pts. . . Ouch.
- This stat is a true showing of how close the competition in the league is. Coming to you Live has the toughest schedule so far, facing opponents averaging 118.36 a week (Inflated by the Negro Sailfish beat down.) On the flip side, Cleveland Steamers has the lowest at 96.63 points averaged by opponents a week. That means the other 10 teams not mentioned opponents are average in between 118 and 96 (only a 22 point gap for all 12 teams.)
Quick Hitters:
- Most pts in a single week so far, Reverse Cow Girls 160.40. 8 pts short of the all time record.
- Least pts in a single week so far, you guessed it, Butt Fumblers. 52.22 in week7. 2 pts away from the all time record.
- Most TD's in one week so far and now all time record is held by Cruzin All the Way with 14 TD's in week 1. Somehow in a losing effort to yours truly Sope Pro.
- Reverse Cow Girls has the most passing yards this season in one week with 506 yards.
- Sope Pro has the most rushing yards in one week so far this season with 358 yards.
- Negro Sailfish has the most passing yards in one week so far this season with 486 yards.
On to the Recaps!
6.) #5 Negro Sailfish (4-3) 135.80 pts beats down #10 Coming to You Live (2-5) 66.02
JR says: 0 Barn Burners!
Somebody call Yolonda! Mike Weeks is getting some points! In the aforementioned largest beat down this season Negro Sacko slaps Coming to Your Waiver wire by almost 70 pts. The last few week's results put up by Negro Sailfish makes me question if there are PED's in play.
** Segway! **
Kind of like a punter making a monster hit!:
I knew it! I knew it! Cheating Bastard:
I say we surprise Mike Weeks with one of these notices the day after he puts up another 130 + pts. He is probably taking Adderall just before he sets his lineups.
5.) #3 The Reverse Cow Girls (5-2) 106.18 pts fumbles the butt of the Butt Fumblers (0-7) 52.22
JR says: 0 Barn Burners!
Ouch! Things are not looking promising for The Butt Fumblers. Hopefully a non- vetoed trade could help things out. When Johnny Taco looked at his matchup and saw the BF's on the other side he could not help but realize that the Jets were not the luckiest team last weekend.
Hey Belly-Check!
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4.) Twatty (2-5) 110.72 pts gets a much needed win vs #7 Victorious Secret (3-4) 87.16 pts.
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
Victorious Secret's injury plagued free fall continues. Good thing next year looks promising as she has Justin Blackmon on her roster who was taken in the 14th round. What an R-Tard whoever dropped him is. He should drop you:
3.)#2 Dickhead (6-1) 120.76 pts tea bags #6 LRY VLNS (4-3) 87.20 pts
JR says: 0 Barn Burner!
(3rd best matchup and still no BB's !? Bah Gawd you guys suck!)
This helps set up a monster matchup next week where Dickhead faces Cleveland in a battle of 6 and 1's. I was going to change my team name to "Who Does All of Your Heavy Lifting Because They are Tougher and Has One More Knee Than You?" but unfortunately Yahoo said that I exceeded the maximum amount of characters for a team name. Oh well. Whenever a team plays Dickhead, they are instantly the "Good Guys" of the week and this time YOU BLEW IT Lry Vlns!
2.) #1 Cleveland Steamers (6-1) 103.9 pts drops #8 Cruzin til I'm Gay! (3-4) 91.14 pts
JR Says: Fucking Finally, 1 Barn Burner!
As a collective group (more good than bad (Wirty!)), the old dudes are finally getting it! It seems each week that Cleveland's days at the top are numbered but wins are wins. That and the fact that Injured Brandon Jacobs started for Cruzin. C'mon man you beat yourself this week!
Now my Giney does not usually tingle for a regular season matchup but next week's 6-1 vs 6-1 showdown is looking to be a slobberknocker. They will probably send out BS lineups as a show of support of same- sex marriage because we all know with Skip and EJ, if they could they would!
MAIN EVENT OF THE WEEEEEKKKSS TIMMAY!
1.) #4 Sope Productions (5-2) 101.00 pts takes an inside edge on #11 Stage Kisses R Gay (Number 11 now, really!?) (2-5) 95.28 pts
JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!
This one was almost 3 barnburners, but Julius Thomas was wayyy more Uber than TY. Josh knows what I am talking about. Let Stage Kisses R Gay be an example to everyone out there of what happens when you need players but are too Puss to trade. This is going on for 3 years now. "Im going to do it, I'm going to do it." Before you know it BAM! In the Sacko Bowl!
Stage Kisses is looking to fulfill their yearly role as a Sacko Bowl Dark Horse. Not quite the favorite (Wirty!) but definitely has a strong chance every time.
Now to make things more exciting, please do not suck. That goes for 70 percent of you. If you have more exciting matchups, the less creative I have to try to be. As always, Ring My Ding and Suck My Dong! I'm Out!
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