Week 10/11/12 Recap + 

Playoff/Sacko Bowl Preview

Civil War Updates:

Week 10:

Youngs: 6,575.8 pts

Olds: 6,525.6 pts

(50 pt difference!)

Week 11:

Youngs: 7,233.0 pts

Olds: 7,268.0 pts

(35 point difference, getting closlier!)

Week 12:

Youngs: 8,010 pts

Olds: 7,891 pts

BOOM!

Weekly High Scores:

Week 10- Dickhead 148.8 pts

Week 11- Land of The Lost 140.0 pts

Week 12 - Mississippi Mud Butts 139.8 pts

Weekly High Scores Overall (so far)

MMB- 1

RCG- 1

Dickhead- 2

LoTL- 2

Skipler- 2

Sope- 4

Friendly reminder, top 6 make playoffs, bottom 4 make Sacko Bowl, bottom six enter battle for 1st pick of 2019 draft.  We can look into the Skipler method for next season, we just can't make a change a week before the playoffs.  Also, fuck off, let's see how this works first.

Team By Team Updates:

TEAM	W	L	T	PCT	GB
Land of The lost	9	3	0	.750	--
NY Shennaggins	8	4	0	.667	1
Skiplers Revenge	8	4	0	.667	1
A Team Has No Name	8	4	0	.667	1
Sope Productions	7	5	0	.583	2
Larry Villains	7	5	0	.583	2
Mississippi Mud Butts	6	6	0	.500	3
Reverse Cowgirls	5	7	0	.417	4
Bye Bye Bye Week	5	7	0	.417	4
Polk High Panthers	4	8	0	.333	5
T Watty	4	8	0	.333	5
The Career Killers	1	11	0	.083	8

#12 Wirty Bye Week 1-11

Last 3 Weeks:

10- Loss as #12 vs #1 Dickhead (93.7 - 148.8)

11- Loss as #12 vs #8 RCG (71.0-78.7) 2 BB!

12- Loss as #12 vs #4 ATHNN (82.5 - 136.1)

Outlook: The Wirty bye week has been generous with 5 losses in a row.  He is about to tie his season high of 6 losses in a row, ouch.  The bottom seed has been locked up for a few weeks now, but you already knew that.  

He's makin a list, checkin it twice, gonna find who has a week 16 match up that is nice. . . 

. . . SACKO BALLS are coming, to Wirty's House!!!

This is what happens when you you put out a lineup that has to start actual NFL backup players thanks to fellow Old Guy trade rapes.

#11 Twatty 4-8

Last 3 Weeks:

Loss as #11 vs #8 MMB (86.7-133.1 pts)

Loss as #10 vs #4 Skipler (130.4 - 133.9) 3 BB!

Loss as #11 vs #6 Larry Villains (102.7 - 130.1)

Outlook: The loss vs Skipler was the official nail in the coffin.  Sadly, there is no crazy "What If!?" breakdown that can sneak Twatty into the playoffs this year, like in season's past.  At least they are making proactive moves for next year that does not involve having to start ROYCE FREEMAN, a backup Running back.  Twatty ends up a lock for the Sack Bowl, albeit with real life Runningbacks.  So now we need to focus on what is more important for this teams's outlook. . . Who gets the family Sacko Trophy?  Do Watts and Gary hack it into two pieces, or do they share joint custody?  Should we figure out the exact middle of their SACKO TENURE and have a ceremonial PASSING OF THE BALL SACK??  On the bright side, Twatty can play spoiler to Dickhead in a Superbowl 2016 rematch this week and knock him out of a playoff bye, but more on that later.

#10 Polk High Panthers 4-8

Last 3 Weeks:

10 - W as #9 vs #2 Sope Pro (144.9-92.7)

11 - L as #9 vs #5 ATHNN (101.2-133.9)

12 - L as #10 vs #7 MMB (128.8-139.8) 2 BB!

Outlook: Polk High, unlike the last 2 outlooks, has both the players AND the points, just not the right timing.  David Johnson is living up to his name, finally.  PHP will definitely be Sacko Bowling as he needs to pass both Ed and Johnny E.  The common theme for PHP's season is bad timing, because Ed and Johnny E are playing each other this week, which guarantee's one of them a win or both a tie.  This is a shame because PHP gets a meaningless Wirty bye on tap for week 13, at least the youngs are currently winning the Civil War!

#9 Lady Boy Jansson 5-7

Last 3 Weeks:

10 - W as #10 vs #3 Skipler (116.4 - 108.2) 2 BB!

11 - L as #11 vs #6 Larry Villains (42 (yuck)- 124.4 pts)

12 - W as #9 vs #2 Dickhead (138.4 - 121.8 ) 1 BB!

Outlook: 

Dammit!  I missed weeks of quality Leveon Bell Puns!  

Leveon Hell is finally over for LBJ.  

Ed wins this league's NoBell Prize.

After an insanely up and down season, LBJ ends the season on a high note as the league's GIANT KILLER knocking off two top 3 teams both in the last 3 weeks.  LBJ faces a HUGE match up this week as he plays the team sitting one spot ahead of him WITH the same record . . . Reverse Cow Girls.  This one is easy to figure out, win and its Sacko Bowl safety, lose and its Sacko Bowling for Ed for the 8th? 

(I think this is the 8th season of the league)  

Yes, 8th! consecutive year.

#8 Reverse Cow Girls 5-7

Last 3 Weeks:

10 - L as #10 vs #5 ATHNN (85.4-120.7)

11 - W as #8 vs #12 Wirty Bye Week (78.7-71) 2 (sympathy) BB!

12 - L as # 8 vs #1 LoTL (64.9-124)

Outlook: With trades like these, who needs a rape whistle?  "He Likes It, Hey Johnny! He likes it!"  Taco plays the part of roster mule #2 of 2 and there is a 50% chance he'll be in the Khunt :'( for a  Sacko Trophy.  Bitchmas came early as RCG had 2 Wirty Bye Weeks this year but remains the (2nd) coldest team headed into the post season.  A win vs Ed this week and he'll be safe from the Sacko, a Loss and well see how these 60-80 point showings (now without Kelce) fare in the Sacko Bowl.  Just remember, anything can happen in the Sacko Bowl.  Look at Dickhead, he barely missed the playoffs last year.  Then, as fate had it, the Sacko Balls are currently collecting dust in his living room.

#7 Mississippi Mud Butts 6-6

Last 3 Wheelers:

10 - W as #8 vs #11 Twatty (133.1-86.7) 

11 - W as #7 vs #3 Sope Pro (138.8-116.8)

12 - W as #7 vs #10 PHP ( 139.8- 128.8) 1 BB!

Outlook: 3 wins in a row, over 130 points scored in each victory.  Those loses to Ed and Wirty really woke MMB up!  This may be too little/ too late, but MMB is definitely this years "So You're Saying There's a Chance" Team.  Facing a tough match up vs Skipler, MMB needs a Win and a Larry Villains Loss OR A Win and a Larry Villains Win and MMB cannot be Outscored by Larry by 7 points.

MMB coming for Larry Villains

Worst case, MMB is safe from the Sacko Bowl and playing for the Todd Gurley next year. 

#6 Larry Villains 7-5

Last 3 weeks: 

10 - W as #6 vs #4 LoTL (97.2-95.6) 3 BB! 

11- W as #6 vs #11 Lady Boy Jansson (124.4-42) 

12- W as #6 vs #11 Twatty (130.1-102.7)

Outlook:  2 Easy wins + 1 massive (but also kind of easy) win puts Larry in the last playoff spot . . .for now.  A win vs Khuntless Sope and Larry is in.  A loss + a MMB win without scoring more than 7pts than MMB and it will be no playoffs for you!

Larry trying to hold off MMB

#5 Sope Productions 7-5

Last 3 Weeks:

10 - L as #2 vs #9 PHP (92.7-144.9) 

11 - L as #3 vs #7 MMB (116.8-138.9)

12 - L as #5 vs #3 Skipler (103.4-127.4) 

Outlook: Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, and more Ouch.  3 Losses and now Khunt gets Punted!?  Skipler is good at winning big match ups as he knocks off Sope in the Battle of the Bye last week.  Still a (98%) lock (see!  no touching any $ here) for the playoffs as Sope holds a 120 + pt advantage over the current #6 and #7 teams.  With extreme(ly unlikely) luck and a monster scoring Win, Sope can go as high as #2 or can (realistically) go as low as #6 with a Loss.

#4 A Team Has No Name 8-4

Last 3 Weeks: 

10 - W as #5 vs #7 RCG (120.7-85.4)

11- W as #5 vs #9 PHP (133.9 - 101.2) 

12- W as #4 vs #12 Wirty Bye (136.1-82.5)

Outlook: ATHNN is easily the hottest guaranteed playoff team, not in looks, but wins (they are no Watts or Johnny E).  Now we are only talking teams that are battling for playoff seeding as they are all locks moving forward.  HUGE match up vs #1 Land of The Lost this week.  ATHNN cannot pass LOTL at #1 BUT can propel themselves to a playoff bye.  They need a Win AND both a Skipler and Dickhead loss as ATHNN likely cannot pass them in tiebreaker points should they both win.  Can go as low as the 5th seed with a Loss.  

#3 Skipler 8-4

Last 3 Weeks: 

10- L as #3 vs #10 LBJ (108.2-116.4) 2 BB!

11- W as #4 vs #10 Twatty (133.9- 130.4) 3 BB!

12- W as #3 vs #5 Sope (127.4-103.4)

Outlook:

Basically the same as ATHNN + 74 pts.  Skipler has a semi- tough match up vs MMB next week.  This is where the outlooks start to get annoying **clears throat** To get a 1st round bye, Skipler needs a Win + LOTL Loss OR Dickhead Loss OR a Win and must outscore Dickhead by 14.  OR a Loss and a Dickhead Loss (must outscore Dickhead by 14 points) this week) + a ATHNN Loss + A Sope Loss to lock up a bye without winning.  Skipler can go as high as #1 and as low as #5.   

#2 Dickhead 8-4

Last 3 Weeks: 

10- W as #1 vs #12 Wirty Bye Week ( A lot - A little)

11- L as #1 vs #2 LoTL (101.1-140)

12- L as #2 vs #9 LBJ (121.8-138.4)

Outlook: Riding a 2 game losing streak after a much needed bye week behind NEWLY STARTING TE Ebron, Dickhead has the easiest match up out of the team's fighting for a bye against Twatty.  As fun a last week's upset was against Ed (You are officially known as Ed's bitch after the past 2 seasons) it sure makes this seeding outlook BS wayyy more difficult.  Here goes nothing!  Dickhead= lock for playoffs.  Needs a Win and Skipler Loss for  a 1st round bye or a Win with Skipler winning and LOTL winning, but not giving up the 14 point lead Dickhead currently holds over Skipler.  If Dickhead loses, he needs a Skip lose (still maintaining 14 point lead) AND a ATHNN Loss AND a Sope Loss (21 point buffer over Sope).  Can go as high as 1 and as low as 5.  

#1 Land of The Lost 9-3

Last 3 Weeks: 

10- L as #4 vs #6 Larry Villains (95.6-97.2) 3 BB!

11- W as #2 vs #1 Dickhead (140-101.1)

12- W as #1 vs #8 RCG (124.7-64.9

Outlook: GIGANTIC match up vs ATHNN.  LOTL is the only team truly controlling their destiny with 1 more win than the rest.  A Win this week and LOTL walks into a 1st round bye.  A Loss and LOTL will need a loss by either Dickhead or Skipler as they are heavily outscoring ATHNN on the season.  The only way LOTL can lose a 1st round bye is a Loss and a Dickhead Win, scoring less than 20 more than DH OR a Skipler Win, scoring less than 6 points more than Skip.  LOTL can go as low as #4.

Ernie heading to a Bye like:

Worst of luck to all, I wish you could all lose.