Sacko Bowl Week 10 Recap:

(Barn Burner Season Continues!)

Week 10 High Scorer:

Reverse Cow Girls - 142.9 pts

Sacko Civil War Update:

Youngs- 6,364.8 pts

Olds- 6,494.1 pts

6.) #3 Reverse Cow Girls (6-4) 142.9 pts shalacks

#9 Suck my Clinton- Dix (4-6) 105.9 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

This is a tale of two teams heading in different directions at a crucial time.

RCG gets a huge win that puts him all the way at #3 in the standings and at the top of a 3 team tie with the free falling Twatty and Land of the Lost all at 6-4, but I'll get to those jabronis later.  Next week RCG plays middle of the pack Butt fumblers (4-6) in a match up that has obvious repercussions.

SmCD on the other hand falls down to #9 and is currently at the bottom of a 3 team tie, all with 4-6 records.  SmCD's season can go either way at this point, but things are getting tight for the #6 spot and possibly #5 or even #4 if Ernie and Watts can't win anymore games.  Next week SmCD plays Polk High who is most likely just looking to play spoiler at this point.  Realistically (but not technically)it is elimination for any 4-6 teams that lose this week. 

5.)#2 Skip Voted for Hillary (Had to write this one) (8-2) 124.2 pts

Donkey Punches

#8 The Butt Fumblers (4-6) 101.8 pts

JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!

Dickhead with another win blah blah blah.  The top 2 teams are 2 wins above the rest of the pack and looking good for a first round bye, suck my balls.  Next week Dickhead plays the free falling and aptly named Land of the Lost in a game that means more for the competition than Dickhead, I am surprised he hasn't started resting his starters like previous seasons. 

The Butt Fumblers had a clean path to the playoffs before this painful loss happened.  A loss this week vs tough Reverse Cow Girls and the playoffs may be looking like a pipe dream, Ed's Pipe dream.  

4.) #1 Mississippi Mud Butts (6-4) 119.6 pts 

Roshambos

#4 Twatty (6-4) 119.6 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

MMB is in 1st with the highest points forced and 2 games above those outside of a 1st round bye.  He should probably start benching the starters.  It sounds like a good move to start that trend this week vs Sope Pro.

Twatty is looking to bounce back after belly to belly losses. Currently they are in a playoff spot, but just like Ernie, they really need a win- otherwise things will get much sketchier.  Next week there is a key match up for the league pitting Twatty vs Skipler.  6-4 vs 5-5 with a bunch of teams trying to jump them in the standings = a slobber knocker as per JIM ROSS. 

3.) #11 Larry Rocks (3-7) 90.6 pts 

Cunt Punts

#5 Land of the Lost (6-4) 82 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

ROCK (Ernie) . . . MEET BOTTOM (losing to Larry).  Ernie hasn't won a game in a month after starting 6-0, ouch.  That Sope hex really did work.  See Twatty's section to figure out what Ernie needs to do (spoiler alert- WIN A FUCKING GAME).  An upcoming rough match up against #2 Dickhead will not make things any easier this week coming up. 

Larry Rocks on the other hand, wins a HIGHLY DEFENSIVE MATCH UP 

which takes him out of the basement and into #11.  At this point any wins are going to help for Sacko Bowl posturing and you're never going to guess who Larry plays next week. . . READ BELOW, like all the way down.

2.) #7 Sope Pro (4-6) 113 pts

Sacko Slaps

Polk High Panthers (3-7) 129 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

Sope Pro is leading the pack of 4-7 teams that are just outside of playoff position and can honestly go either way.  The bad news is that the league - leading Mississippi Mud Butts are on the schedule next.  

This one hurts for Polk High.  Best they can do now is finish 6-7 so it is looking like Sacko Bowl posturing from here on out. 

1.) #6 Skipler (5-5) 100.8 pts

CLOTHES LINES STRAIGHT TO HELL

#12 Lady Boy Jansson (3-7) 95.1 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

Luckily for Skipler, when he needed a pivotal win, he had Ed on the schedule.  Sitting at 5-5 and at #6, Skipler has a 1 game leg up over the 3 teams at 4-6 fighting for his spot.  I'm sure he'll figure out some kind of shenanigans in the coming weeks.

Next week we have our annual SACKO SLAPFIGHT.  

In one corner, we have 3-7 Larry Rocks- 2x reigning Sacko Finalist, currently sporting the 3rd lowest points forced in the league.  

And in the other corner, our resident lovable loser- also with a 2016 record of 3-7, sporting the lowest points forced in the league.   Back to back to back to back (starting to lose count but I'm pretty sure its like 10 years running) Sacko Loser!!!!

THE JACKSONVILLLLLE EDGUARSSSSSS!!!!!

Poor sweet baby Ed.  Back in 12th place. Lowest points forced by far.  I'm going to stop typing because this is starting to depress me.

That and I have a massive Sushi Palace food baby that needs to be delivered.

SACKO BOWL Season 6

WEEK 9 RECAP!!!!

(Barn Burner Mania!)

Week 9 High Scorer:

Mississippi Mud Butts 137.6 pts

Sacko Civil War Update:

Youngs- 5,724.1 pts

Olds- 5,824.0 pts

6.) #8 Skipler (4-5) 109.6 pts

 

#4 Land of the Lost (6-3) 73.9 pts

JR Says 0 Barn Burners!

Ernie is probably channeling his inner Travis Kelce with the 3 game losing streak that he is currently sporting.  A near lock for the playoffs but falling fast away from first round bye territory.  Maybe someday Ernest can win a game again.

Then we have Skipler.  Hanging on tough.  Sitting in the middle of the 3 teams with a 4-5 record dreaming of a 5th or 6th seed in the actual playoffs.  Speaking of making America Skipler again, how about the devastating turn of events (JR voice) from earlier this week:

5.) #1 Mississippi Mud Butts (7-2) 137.6 pts

#11 Lady Boy Jansson (3-6) 122.5 pts

JR Says: 1 Barn Burner!

Ed has had a good run so far this season totaling 3 wins.  So far it's not enough to get him out of a Sacko Bye position, but I say we throw him a bone here.  I am hereby going to give him a (very slight) upgrade on the recaps.  He is no longer the Cleveland Ed's.  He shall now be known as the Jacksonville Edguars.  a (very) slightly better team that builds a (very small) amount of hype after they win a few games.  Once (a very small amount of) people buy into this hype, BOOM!  They come crumbling back down to Earth and you are reminded that it has been the Jacksonville (Jag)Edguars all along.

I also wanted to throw in a fun fact since we are talking about shitty teams:

Whelp, Weeks is back on top.  Sitting at 7-2 and looking strong for a first round bye.  You know what that means. . . I have to make fun of his Reality Football team:

4.) #10 Polk High Panthers (3-6) 127.8 pts 

#5 Reverse Cow Girls (5-4) 119.6 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

Finally some bros who like to trade.  Polk High is just outside of the 4-5 team cluster fuck and right in the middle of the 3-6 team cluster fuck.  If you count the 3-6 teams as part of the previously mentioned cluster fuck then you have a whole new level of cluster fuck fighting for a few playoff spots.  Luckily things will get figured out this week as Fern plays Sope in what is definitely an elimination/ early playoff game.  More importantly, this is a match up of conflicting ideals.  

Fern likes to Press his Pickle while I am more of a Snake Smushing guy.

As for Johnny E. . . Fuck Johnny E, he's apparently too cool to hang out with his best bro Byron as of late :'( .

3.) #2 Dickhead Street (7-2)103.5 pts

#7 Suck my Clinton- Dix (4-5)99.3 pts

JR Says: 3 Barn Burners!

I see Tommy D keeping up with the added flavor on his roster. What's better than 1 black Qb to get you those extra rush yards?  The answer is 2 black Qbs!  Currently sitting in the middle of the aforementioned 4-5 mix, it is anyone's game in this area of the standings.

There is a major Do- Or- Die game coming up this week for SmCD versus the Cow Girls, especially considering that someone has to win in the Sope Pro vs Polk High game and the Lady Boy Jansson vs Skipler game.  Can you say Cluster Fuck?

(Dickhead's recap section ommited)

2.) #6 The Butt Fumblers (4-5) 94.4 pts

#12 Larry Rocks (2-7) 90.1 pts

JR Says: 3 Barn Burners!

It's not too late Larry, make the move!

Larry, Larry, Larry . . . what the hell is happening out there. Alone at the bottom and without much of a light at the end of the tunnel.  Starting Terron Ward off the waiver wire seemed like a good idea to him:

Until ugly reality set in:

Yes, that's the same kicker . . .

The Butt Fumblers blah blah blah 4-5 cluster fuck blah blah blah.

1.) #9 Sope Pro (3-6) 118.1 pts

#3 Twatty (6-3) 116.4 pts

JR Says:

This was a barn burner in every sense of the glorious words.  It was big end- of - game play after play.

Twatty currently on the outside of a first round bye by a game but snug into a playoff spot.  Sope Pro on the wrong side of the 3-6/4-5 cluster fuck.  There, I'll say those words together 1 more time. . .

CLUSTER FUCK!