Week 12 Recap
THANKSGIVING PLAYOFF PREVIEW
With one week to go almost everything is set for the Playoff Push/ Sacko Tumble. Everything with the exception of a Playoff Bye up for grabs and a Sacko Bye that is trying to be avoided. There are a few possible seed changes but come on, you are either set for the playoffs or "Packin' for some Sackin'" © (!!!)
I counted over 80 pts. My fantasy fanboy gina is tingling for this guy's rookie year.
6.)#1 Cleveland Steamers (10-2) 105.88 pts makes it look easy with #11 Coming to You Live (3-9) 41.12 pts
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
Well let me start with a Tomlin Douschey Salute for the Steams:
The Steamer's took a dump on the chest of the league as they clinch a first round bye in the "Real" playoffs. After the matchup between Sope and Dickhead WHICH I WILL GET TO YOU WAIT YOUR TURN, another team will have 10 wins (unless there is a tie (in that case faaaaccckkk)) This means that Cleveland could go as low as #2 (who do you work for #2!!!??). I'm only mentioning it because it is possible. Cleveland will need a Loss and a Tolsdorfian display of points forced this week.
As for Coming to You Live. Ohhh Boy. A loss in week 13 means a definite Sacko Bye. A win and a Twatty loss next week will make it come down to points and thanks to this 41 point stinker, CTYL is sitting only +29 points ahead of the Twatt. This week the Timmy Tom Tolsdorfs had less of an impact than an Andy Reid fart after a halftime Fat Boy Slice see for yourself!
5.) #7 Stage Kisses R Gay (5-7) 99.78 pts, clearly troubled by all the smack talk on the weekly review wins again vs #9 LRY VLNS (5-7) 62.28 pts.
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
This one solidifies the passing of the torch of "Sacko Bowl Sweetheart/ Dark Horse" from Stage Kisses to LRY. Lets put it this way, LRY needs a W a Negro L and over 400 points this week to make the playoffs, cue the BRRREEEER noise that you can picture coming from either Watts' mouth or Josh's ass or together in a symphony of terrible fart noises, the choice is yours! Stage Kisses is in a similar spot but no so much at the same level of a chance as LRY's "NO FUCKIN WAY". Stage Kisses is more of a snotty and cynical "YEAH FUCKIN RIGHT". Profanities aside (note how I always use bigger words on Josh's segment, it just feels right) Stage Kisses needs a W, a Negro L, ANNN DENNN , has to beat their score by + 130 pts. So yeah, there is that. To commemorate these teams being on the outside looking in, here are some photographers and their crazy antics:
4.) #2 Sope Productions (9-3) 142.68 pts Sacko Slaps #8 Cruzin All The Way (5-7) 76.50 pts
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
Now business picks up! Sope Pro jumps Dickhead with the High Score showing this week. A final week matchup vs D- Head will get one team a bye in the playoffs (and home field advantage unless playing #1 !)the other will start the first week of the playoffs as the highest seed on the field. The only other scenario is a W and a Cleveland L and a +60 point differential.
Now for Cruzin... Ohh boy x2. I want to start by showing:
and then by showing:
Now that THAT's out of the way. Cruzin needs a W and a Negro L and to finish the season with more points that every 6-6 and 5-7 team. Long story short, Cruzin gets sent packing this week with a one- way trip to the Sacko.
3.) #5 Victorious Secret (7-5) 130.56 pts Wirties #12 Butt Fumblers (2-10) 100.76 pts
JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!
VS with the late- season turnaround officially clinches a spot in the playoffs. They can go as high as 4 and as low as 6. Next week they face the Most- Likely Clinched Negro Sailfish. But this part of the recap is not really about VS. . .
Butt Fumblers, dead last, least points, and now this:
On the very- dim bright side, putting up 100 pts on week 15 or 16 could get you home safe. Now for a Sacko Recap first! We usually do not take a look at other leagues but this has to be noted. Poor, poor Wirty cannot do anything right. Check out this cutesy cute father- son league:
Here is proof (IT is a 6- team league so the pic is not cut- off):
2.) #10 Twatty (4-8) 104.12 pts Dirty- Jerks #6 Negro Sailfish (6-6) 97.28 pts
JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!
Take a look at Twatty over here. Someone does not want that Sacko Bye. Twatty is fighting off that Sacko Bye like Ed Penis Mc Ginn fighting getting thrown out of a party, literally getting dragged down stairs and ripping picture frames off the wall screaming " NO!! I DON"T WANNA GO!!!" A W this week send Coming to you Live to a Sacko Bye. A Loss will let it come down to the points.
Negro Sailfish will probably and luckily make it to the play offs.
Although it is not official, a Loss will have the Negs potentially tied in record with teams that are 134, 143, too much to count respectively. If I were you and I met Megatron in person I would AT THE VERY LEAST offer a 5- knuckle shuffle under the table or maybe a full out BLOW- JAY.
MAIN EVENT TIMMY TIME!
1.) #3 Dick Head (9-3) 110.82 pts Gives it to #4 Reverse Cow Girls (7-5) 98.86 pts COLIN KAEPERNICK TATTOO PRISON STYLE!
JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!
Reverse Cow Girls clinched a playoff spot and all, but what happened? A few weeks ago EJ was ready to concede defeat and give a MEGATRON BLOW- JAY under the table (which I still think is a good idea for the Negro Sailfish, it is Thanks giving time and you need to give fucking Thanks.) "Ohh man look out for the Cowgirls in the playoffs yap, yap, yap" Not the RCG can go as high as #4 and as low as #6 so I may not even have to see them after my Playoff Bye week is over! (think about it, think about it, let the shit talk sink in, and there it is!).
As for Dickhead, this is the third time you heard it. Next week vs Sope Pro, winner gets a bye. This wouulllld be the most important matchup but there is a Sacko Bye on the line and you know how we like to look down on the Sacko Plebeians. It makes us feel better inside. Mwa ha ha ha.
GTG! About to get yelled at by Holly for running late!
