SACKO BOWL YEAR 14 (I Think?)

Week 5 (and kind of 4) Recap

Week 4 HS Larry Cocks

154.1 pts

Week 5 HS Mississippi Mud Butts

140.7 pts

Sacko Civil War Update

Olds:

3,221.1 pts

Youngs:

3,248.0

If this double recap sucks this week. Just know that I defied human physics to get it out there. FU!

Week 4:

6.) #5 Larry Rocks (2-2) 154.1 pts >

#8 Skipler (1-3) 96.7 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

Skipler did not survive the 300 yd Julio Jones tea bagging. There was way too much bag to go around as his struggles continued. I would like to say "well I predict a shenangians trade coming up to overload another old dude's roster" but I am writing this 2 weeks late and that trade was already made, accepted, and processed. Goddammit.

The ESPN Fantasycast did not lie here. Skip actually started Ryan Tannehill. At least this wasn't a close one and was against the highest scorer of the week.

Did I mention yet that I hate the Dolphins so so much.

5.) #4 Twatty (3-1) 120.3 pts >

#10 Beats By Ray (1-3) 68.8 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

ALOT of blowouts this week. I wish I could just skip over the week entirely but fuck it I'm already 2 recaps deep. Don't expect any creative genius this time around:

This is how everyone else feels about Twatty's successes:

4.) #6 Reverse Cow Girls (2-2) 110.6 pts >

#12 Sope Pro (0-4)93.9 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

And then there was 1. 1 team left with 0 wins. Fuck you all! I'm gearing up for my first career Sacko Bowl and taking a few of you with me!

This is a question that I ask myself every Tuesday morning:

3.) #2 Land of the Lost (4-0) 135.6 pts >

#9 Polk High Panthers (1-3) 114.8 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

Ernie Muller GUEST SPOT:

It seems that Old Man Rivers and Mrs. Crabtree helped
regain some points for the veterans. Colonel Sanders was
helped by Sieimian going down and Ernie is looking forward
getting help this week Sotheby's old men will have young
beer bitches.

The only thing I can add to this is the best GIF of the season thanks to Ernie's QB:

2.)#1 Mississippi Mud Butts (4-0) 110.2 pts >

#3 Dickhead (3-1) 91.5 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners! (JR was grumpy last week just like EJ when he gets his manopause hot flashes)

Last week I was supposed to share the below pic as the kiss of death for Dickhead's winning streak, but **SPOILERS he won this past week. The pic was still too good to not share.

Speaking of other pics that need to be shared:

This-

And this-

1.) #11 Lady Boy Jansson (1-3) 104.8 pts >

#7 Butt Fumblers (2-2) 96.6 pts

JR Says: 2 Barn Burners!

Ed did it you guys!!!!

This is the main event because you can't hold the Cleveland Eds down forever:

Ed wins even with his joke roster (watch how fast my tone changes next week (really this week)):

Week 5:

6.) #10 Skipler (1-4) 49.4 pts < #2 Dildo Swaggins (4-1) 118.7 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

49.4 pts!?

I'm just going to go ahead and leave that here.

FUDH!

5.) #11 Lady Boy Jansson (1-4) 56.2 pts <

#2 Land of the 0 Losses (5-0) 131.8 pts

JR Says 0 Barn Burners!

The Cleveland Ed's proving that last week was a glitch in the Matrix as he is back to his losing ways, also parting with his top player. All is right with the world again!

4.)#9 Butt Fumblers (2-3) 85.9 pts < #4 Twatty (4-1) 134.8 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

I'm in a real PC pretzel with this one. Wirty is back to his old ways so I can't kick a Wirth while he's down (I probably can, just being nice for a week) meanwhile Watts, the snake in the grass is actually stringing together big weeks.

3.) #6 Reverse Cow Girls (2-3) 102.6 pts <

#1 Mississippi Ed Butts (0-5 (oh wait that's me)) 140.7 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

The Mud Butters had one of those weeks where everything seemed to work out. One of those weeks that I could only wet dream about.

2.) #5 Larry Rocks (2-3) 89.4 pts <

#7 Polk High Panthers (2-3) 106.9 pts

JR Says: 0 Barn Burners!

Polk high may not have put up the weekly high score in this week's effort but you know what he is proud of his little weiner and you should be too!

1.) #12 Sope Pro (0-5) 118.6 pts <

#8 Suck My Clinton Dix (2-3) 134.6 pts

JR Says: 1 Sympathy Barn Burner!

Have fun reading about the LAST SOPE LOSS OF THE SEASON. Things are going to be way different come week 6 (goddammit) With the new and improved studly Sope Productions: