Sacko Bowl Year 10 Regular Season Wrap Up
Sacko Civil War
While it turned out dumping Ed off to the Boomers and adding Simple Mark was a slight power move as the Millennials not only gained a few more points but another playoff team, it was no match for the atrocity that was Jay Fern's 1,199.4 point season. It didn't help that we also had to carry Larry "I'm too busy and cool to pay attention to more than one fantasy league as an excuse for my ineptitude" Villains as the 2nd worst scoring team at 1,267.08 pts on the year. In comparison, to show you just how SHITTY these seasons were, every other team finished from the mid 1,300s to high 1,500's. That alone was a deficit that absolutely tanked the Millennials chances. Harboring the lowest scoring team and one of the lowest ever and having a chance at winning is something you would just never see happening, like Ed typing a sentence without multiple grammatical and spelling errors.
Millennials
8,225.4 pts
Boomers
8,647.6 pts
This of course means that (for the first time in Sacko Civil War history) the millennials will be responsible for the PBRs at the draft next year. Who would have thought, Ed and Wirty combining their powers of SUCKING to actually win something, ALTHOUGH, their Sacko careers of blowing might not be over yet as this 10th season concludes. Neither the Picini/ Goldsborough Suck Connection nor the Wirth McCaffrey's are in the clear yet. Sacko loser is automatically sent to the losing side while the champ becomes a part of the winning circle with all the bells and whistles of not being a loser.
Weekly High Scores
1- Dickhead 145.48
2- LBJ 161.78
3- Sope Pro 154.8
4- Wirty 148.3
5- Land of The Lost 132.5
6- Wirty 140.64
7- Bills Fan 152.46
8- Reverse Cow Girls 129.96
9-Mississippi Mud Butts 131.8
10-Reverse Cow Girls 122.76
11-Sope Pro 148.62
12- Mississippi Mud Butts 151.64
13-Reverse Cow Girls 154.2
RCG x3 = $60/ Wirty, Sope Pro, MMB, x2 = $40/
Dickhead, LBJ, LOTL, Mark x1= $20/
All others x0= $0000000000.00
Lookit all them high scores for Wirty. that plus Christian Mccaffery's Operation like injury reports minus a playoff run makes this the most Wirty season that Wirty has ever Wirtied. Can't make this stuff up.
Another year and another reminder on how far we have come since Skipler's Sacko Reich. Long gone are the days of back to back to back championship and watching a poor sap Sacko bowl frequenter who would be lucky to have one good showing between weeks 14-16. This seems to be the new norm here.
We haven't witnessed back to back champs since the days of old Skipler and we will not this year as Ernie fails in his super Bowl defense missing the playoffs WITH a winning record. Meanwhile we have Polk high Panthers, the lucky matchup champion of the regular season was tied for the highest record but wouldn't have made the playoffs if it were judged by points only! It was still a nice turnaround considering this was the scene a few 4 months ago:
Weeks is a dick. Dickhead is a bigger dick. Not just in girth, but overall douscheness. So this makes Weeks America's Dick. Do what is right and vote for America's Dick because if you support Dickhead that means you hate America and Freedom and <3 Facism.
Post Season
Week 1 Byes
Sope Pro & Reverse Cow Girls
Week 1 Matchups
#4 Polk High Panthers vs #5 Ptown Diggs/ Bills/ Simple Mark
#3 Dickhead (Boooooo) vs #6 Mississippi Mud Butts (least dickish of the two)
The Shit 6
(In order of shittiest to least shittiest)
Worst of luck in your 6 way Sacko slug fest to determine who gets to compete for the top pick vs who ends up Sacko, gets the trophy, the 6th pick in the draft, automatic beer bitch (including $ for beer) and ends up on losing side of civil war even if already won, and (catches breath) wears an outfit of the winner's choosing at next year's draft.
#12 A Team has no Talent
#11 Skipler
#10 Wirty
#9 Larry Villains
#8 Lady Boy Goldsborough
#7 Land of The Lost
